Lonely Hearts

To celebrate the fact my last post was number 69, for this one I'm listing the 5 best Lonely Hearts adverts in todays paper!

Number 5:

Ex-Naturist
Ordinary, genuine lady, seeks fellow,
55+, n/s, for companionship, outings and relationships.

(What a perfect age for a naturist to quit...)

Number 4:

Position Available
Honest, F, 55, 5'5'', widow, WLTM professional
M, Doctor or Lawyer.

(Translation: Golddigger seeks gold)

Number 3:

More Than Words
Divorce M, 58, into brass bands, walks,
trains, dictionaries & crosswords.

(Translation: I'd like to 3 down, 4 letters your 7 across, 5 letters ;D)

Number 2:

Paws For Thought
F, 62, likes having a drink, cats,
leopards and dogs.

(Leopards?! o.O)

And the Number 1 best Lonely Hearts today:

Hopeless Romantic Fool
M, Looks a bit like Shrek.
Looking for his Princess Fiona.

This post co-written by Gemma Tonge =]